Tag Archives: Resolutions

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The Best Day for Resolution Makers

Today has arrived. December 31. The eve of a better you: a more fit, healthier-eating, spiritually-renewed, organized, and independent you. Or … hear me out – maybe just “you.”

Every year I make these commitments to myself. And every year I fail at more than one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I am still making the commitment to changing these very things about myself. I don’t exercise; I’ve joined a committed fitness group with a committed coach. I will have the support to stay motivated. Plus I have a cute swim-suit I haven’t worn in two years. I’ve already programmed my alarm to get me up early to exercise.

I have been lackluster in my faith. I’ve blamed God, my church, the school, and even friends for that. It’s not on any of them. I own this, so I have to fix it. I will start with what I deem is the core for fixing it—God. My path is to include regular attendance to my church. I am fortunate that my priest has been routinely in touch with my angst without knowing it; so I trust God and the Holy Spirit that this will be true and my anger and hurt can be healed. But it can’t unless I make the effort, too.

I always consider myself unorganized. I have learned in the past year that is not the case; not at all. I am rather pleased that I don’t have to think about that this year. On the heels of that, though, is the sad realization that that resolve has been replaced by this realization: I am sloppy and lazy. I don’t mean that I am not neat and clean. I am. I mean that the pile of papers sitting on my desk, or that stack of mail sitting on my counter, just sits there (sloppy). I mean that those appointments I need to track (and request leave-time for) need to be entered in my calendar and acted on (lazy). My resolve is to actually use follow-through and do these things.

Now for my big reveal: these resolutions are daily/weekly/monthly, every year, all year. These are not reserved as new-year’s resolutions for me. This is who I am, who I want to be, and my constant goal. I am okay with that. In the last few weeks, while I was preparing for The Big Day to better myself, I finally released guilt and angst over being a little “less” than others.* I have decided that constantly wanting to better myself is not a bad thing. My active resolve will be my faith-walk. I have to fix that because for me that is the core of fixing/having will-power/being confident in all my other betterment goals.

Now for the last item mentioned in my first paragraph: independence. Overall, in supporting myself and my daughters, I am independent. I have fully grasped the day-to-day, self- and family-sufficient tasks needed to be independent and a provider. No, my independence for me is to be true to myself.

Therefore, this year I resolve to:

  • put God first and stop being faithfully-stubborn.
  • be true to myself; realize it’s good and healthy for me, and a great example to my daughters, to take care of my needs so I can be strong for myself and others. In that order.
  • forgive myself for not being everything for everybody; for not being who others want me to be, for being a gloriously-failing human, and letting others own their reactions to that.
  • say no. Unequivocally, clearly, and without explanation: No. (I am not going to explain why I want to say no. I don’t have to. No.)
  • to get my funny back. I miss my sense of humor and wit. I don’t even care if that’s arrogant to say. I am a funny person and I miss that about me.

 

* I do not truly think I am less than anyone, but do find myself wishing I had his will-power; her confidence, etc.

 

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Halloween Candy and Resolutions

This is about the time of year that I begin my new year’s resolution planning. Mind you, not because I plan ahead–I think you can see from the theme of a few of my blogs that procrastination and distractedness run strong and true in these veins.

October. The obvious needs to be said: It’s breast cancer awareness month. Be aware. Do your part, check ’em out and get a mammogram. It hurts. But only for about six seconds. Three times on each side. Okay, so 36 seconds. That’s doable. Do it.

Again: October. Halloween is in the air. Candy is in my pockets, my purse, my desk drawer, my car. I am a slave to three types of candy. Milk Duds–available year-round. Candy corn–available year-round (but for some reason, even more delicious after October 1). And peanut butter kisses–a Halloween delicacy. The only other person I am aware of who enjoys them as I do is my sister Susie. We’ve been known to hock a few away on the off-chance that we may see each other and can give the other the yummy surprise. We haven’t lately because she’s hours away from me, and with my children still in school leisure travel during the school months is hard to do. And she is in the glorious stage of no children at home, a great marriage that both she and my brother-in-law enjoy so they do things together and often, and are grandparents so they get to enjoy their sweet little grandbabies. Methinks that my great-niece and great-nephew may be enjoying my peanut butter kisses these days.

On the heels of the candy-fest comes Thanksgiving. We have a large family reunion every year, with a LOT of food. This is year is our 50th Anniversary, and we are hoping for a large turn-out. A large turn-out indicates a large amount of food.

Then comes the month of December with Christmas parties, holiday parties, birthday parties, more Christmas parties. You know what ALL these have in common? Food. Lots and lots of food.

You can see where this is all going, can’t you? There is nothing but socializing and over-indulgence in my near future! My new year’s resolution seems pretty plain to figure out–lose weight and exercise. There is really no good reason to start now, with this slippery slope of food starting already. BUT WAIT! January is hard to start being healthy–it’s my Birthday Month. Hmm … “Autumn Resolutions” sounds about right again.

 

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Autumn’s Resolutions

Not everyone resolves to make changes in his or her life at the new year. I do. I have absolutely horrible follow-through, but by golly I resolve to change every year. I will eat healthier. I will exercise. I will dutifully put away small change to build my savings account. I will plan technology-free family time.

Then we hit that first weekend in the new year and I decide to sleep in. Since I already ruined the Saturday by neglecting my exercise, I may as well put a little extra cream cheese on my bagel, and that touch of Carolans in my coffee is a well-deserved treat. You know, the treat for already breaking my new year’s resolution. In for a penny, in for a pound–I have already ruined the day, I may as well cut into my small change and get beer, soda, chips, and dip for the television-filled movie time with the girls. If I am going to break my resolve, I will be taking the girls down with me!

So, I comfort myself by trying to eat better but not go overboard, after all I’ve already ruined the whole year by one day of weakness. Then as time goes by and the year gets shorter, I start thinking about the next year’s resolutions I need to make. But wait! Hold the phone–is this not the time of year that the new school year starts? Are we not planning schedules anew? This is my saving grace, that second chance I get to save my year.

Yesterday, I was able to grasp that straw of renewal. We went school shopping. We bought pretty new folders, notebooks, pens, pencils, student planner, and locker supplies. We made plans for how my daughter will juggle her school schedule, cheer schedule, studying time, and social life. We tentatively outlined and planned the days, weeks, and months of the school year.

I mentally planned to coordinate my saving-grace period of resolve with her organization of her schedule. I will plan our family dinner menu, clip coupons, diligently grocery shop, and prepare meals lovingly and consistently for my family. I will get up tomorrow and begin a steady and healthy workout routine.

Mmhmm. I slept in this morning. I have absolutely no idea what I will be making for dinner–probably will buy something on the way home from work. So much for working out, planning dinners, and not spending money. School doesn’t officially start until Wednesday. I can always start then …