I am not sure how my twin and I went over forty years without hearing that term, but we both broke out with guffaws when our friend, Denise, used it the first time. Of course, there are times when we are easily entertained, but Denise is funny.

Twins are not uncommon, but it can be a novelty. Here are answers to the basic questions we both get when someone learns we have a twin but haven’t met the other twin yet:

We have no idea what it is like to have a twin. We also don’t really know what it’s like to not have a twin. We are not bothered in the least by that question, we just don’t have an answer for you. We can answer what it’s like to be single, married, a parent, etc. We have frames of reference for those questions. Twins? We’ve never, ever not been a twin. No frame of reference.

We are not identical. At all. We have the same, exact blue eye color. And we are female. And we have the same family members. That is pretty much where our similarities end. No, we don’t have twin names. SHE was unexpected. (She was also named after a sister’s doll. Mom says no, it was a great-grandmother, but we all know …) I was lovingly planned. Or, at least for nine months one baby was planned. I am the oldest. Therefore, I was planned. She tagged along. I tell her this often. Mom always tries to bolster her, but we all know …

I’ll expand on our looks first, then we’ll get to the personalities. Because, wow. Our looks and personalities could not be any different.

Kathy, the twin, looks like my mother’s side of our family. Her hair is dark blonde/light brown, very straight, and grows very fast. Her teeth are naturally straight and there is something so unfair about that. She has a beautiful singing voice and sings to the likes of Bon Jovi, Journey, Boston, The Carpenters, and Suzy Bogguss. That really isn’t part of her appearance, but it’s true nonetheless. We both have big, beautiful, room-warming smiles, but my whole family is blessed with them. She is bigger than me. Taller. Fuller. More muscular. So not only did she crash my glorious entrance into this family, she took all the growing juices. (Yes, she used to beat me up. A lot. Pulled me off the top bunk once. MOOOMMMMM!)  Of the four sisters, she looks much like the oldest sister, Gwen.

My looks are straight from my dad (except the end of my nose–purely Mom). I have blonde hair, naturally curly, and it grows slower than molasses in January. My teeth are gorgeously straight … and cost my parents handsomely to get them that way. I can put on some awesome concerts–Metallica, Godsmack, Avenged Sevenfold, and Disturbed to name a few–as long as I am alone. Singing is not my strongest talent. I am not a very big person. Frequently get called mini. Now that I think of it, maybe that started my high heel fascination. I look very much like our sister, Susie. (In fact, she is frequently mistaken for my twin to friends who’ve not met my siblings. I can even see how much we look alike.)

But wait! The differences do not stop there! I think our personalities are what made both of us stop short of letting horoscopes plan our lives. For us being born at the same time, under the same sign, we could not be any more different. Don’t get me wrong–we have our twin moments, but not a lot. Actually, a lot of our twin traits are also shared with our six siblings. Pretty sure that’d be classified under “family traits” and not “twin traits.”

I am an extrovert; she’s an introvert. I walk into a room and I *will* take over this party! She lets me. If I find humor in something, I share it now. If she finds humor, she will quietly tell those close to her. If she makes someone mad, she’ll not be quiet about it. Same goes if someone makes her mad. If I make someone mad, I’ll try to fix it when I can. If someone makes me mad, more than likely they’ll never know it. I am afraid to try to new things, but if I don’t I won’t know if I like it. If Kathy is afraid to try new things, I usually tell her how it was so she can try next time! 😉

This is just a snippet of us, but above all  I have my very own built-in champion, supporter, partner, advocate–my God-given best friend. We love our differences. We love living vicariously through each other’s traits. Above all, we love.